Not Enough Time For Zombie Killing
by DucksFan1510
Summary: The group has made their way to Hershel's house and they find something unexpected! Hershel's house has WiFi! Trouble insures! T because there may be some swearing and stuff. Maybe it'll go down eventually.
1. Rednecks on Facebook

**Hey so I'm not sure about this! Tell me what you think. This is kind of an intro chapter. I've seen a few things like this and I wanted to try something like it. So if it sucks, I understand :P But if you guys like it I'll keep up on it!**

**Red-Necks on Facebook**

**Maggie Greene:** Hey for all of you out there, you can get on the Internet now!

**Glenn:** Hey it feels good to be back on! I can't remember the last time I've used Facebook!

**Rick Grimes** is now friends with **Maggie Greene** and **3** others

**Rick Grimes:** finally! Hey Glenn you should friend Maggie ;)

**Daryl Dixon:** hey Facebook! Never had one of these! I must friend all of ya!

**Shane Walsh:** oh god we have a Facebook-deprived redneck. This is going to end very badly!

**Glenn, Rick Grimes,** and **2** others like this

**Daryl Dixon:** what is all this stuff? How do you share a pic?

**Glenn:** you just upload it!

**Daryl Dixon** added a picture.

**Rick Grimes:** oh god seriously Daryl? That's disgusting.

**Shane Walsh:** you're seriously eating squirrel on watch?!

**Daryl Dixon** is now friends with **Rick Grimes, Shane Walsh,** and **2** others

**Lori Grimes:** Daryl Dixon is on Facebook now? Wow.

**Carol Peletier:** this should be interesting. By the way Lori, you have to accept my friend request!

**Lori Grimes:** ok. Right before I log off.

**Daryl Dixon:** hey what about me? I don't see a request from you!

**Shane Walsh:** oh god seriously Daryl?! You made that your profile pic?

**Rick Grimes:** I am never going to be able to look at you the same again

**Shane Walsh** likes this.

**Maggie Greene:** Was this a bad idea? Showing all of you this?

**Glenn:** yea probably. But it's good to be on the Internet again.

**Beth Greene:** I can't believe Daryl never had a Facebook. That's crazy!

**Rick Grimes: **Beth, Maggie, does your dad have one? If he does we should friend him so he can tell us what is happening at the house.

**Shane Walsh:** yea and get our weapons back too

**Daryl Dixon** likes this

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey I liked Shane's status thing. Just so you all know I am 100% on his side with that. It's the zombie apocalypse for God Sakes!

**Shane Walsh, Rick Grimes,** and **1 **other person like this

**Lori Grimes:** it wouldn't be bad to have our weapons back. But what Hershel says goes

**Shane Walsh:** yea and when walkers are invading the place, I'll make sure you pay for saying that.

**Rick Grimes:** Shane! Back off!

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea I thought you liked her!

**Shane Walsh:** what?

**Daryl Dixon:** you heard me. You-Like-Her! A lot!

**Shane Walsh:** Daryl Shut Up! Aren't you on watch?

**Daryl Dixon:** No. Dale said he was going to take my shift.

**Rick Grimes:** So where are you then?

**Daryl Dixon:** trying to sleep. I'm tired.

**Lori Grimes:** it would be easier to sleep if you weren't on Facebook

**Glenn** and **Maggie Greene** like this

**Daryl Dixon:** OK WHO JUST THREW THE KNIFE IN MY TENT?

**Shane Walsh** likes this

**Daryl Dixon:** YOU IDIOT! I'm going to freeze tonight!

**Shane Walsh:** it's summer. You'll be fine.

**Glenn:** how many other people have a Facebook? Cause we should find out. :)

**Daryl Dixon, Beth Greene,** and **5 **others like this

**Lori Grimes:** I bet that Dale will have one

**Beth Greene:** does this mean that some of you are going to start slacking off on work?

**Daryl Dixon** and **Shane Walsh** like this

**Shane Walsh: **course not. But there's not much to do except keep watch.

**Daryl Dixon:** and who has time for killing walkers? Lol maybe we should get T-Dog a Facebook and he can be all like: Ain't Nobody Got Time for That!

**Rick Grimes:** And on that racist comment...

**Lori Grimes** and **Glenn** like this

**Shane Walsh:** Exactly. To think we've been wasting our life trying to survive when there's been Internet connection here all along!

**Soooo...? How was it? Thanks for checking out this story. Hope you liked it! If there's something you'd like to see them talk or argue about leave a comment or PM me. Reviews would be great! **


	2. The Day Daryl Went Missing

**So here's the next chapter! I'm not sure where this is going yet. I guess I'm going to use some events that actually happen in the show and some that are just made up. Hope you like it!**

**The Day Daryl Went Missing!**

**Rick Grimes:** Hey guys! Just wanted to tell you that Daryl won't be joining us because he's out searching for Sophia!

**Shane Walsh: **Thank God. I needed a break from him.

**Glenn:** where did he go? Like what area?

**Rick Grimes:** I don't know. He just said he was going to go out. He'll tell us where after he gets back.

**Carl Grimes:** Hey dad!

**Shane Walsh:** H- nvrm

**Rick Grimes:** WHAT WAS THAT?!

**Shane Walsh:** nothing I'm fine. Go ahead and talk

**Glenn:** oh my god. Lol. Better watch it! :D

**Daryl Dixon:** Heeeeyyyyyy Guys! Bet you thought I was gone!

**Shane Walsh:** Oh come on! There was supposed to be a break. Without you!

**Rick Grimes:** Daryl are you even trying?

**Carol Peletier:** he better be trying!

**Daryl Dixon:** Yes I'm trying! I'm actually lying in a creek with an arrow in my side! Wanna see a picture?

**T-Dog:** Yes!

**Glenn, Shane Walsh,** and **2 **others like this

**Daryl Dixon** added a photo.

**Rick Grimes:** That looks painful buddy. Sorry about that.

**Daryl Dixon:** it's fine. I'm glad that the Internet connection stretches so far. I'm coming home.

**Shane Walsh:** yea we'll get Hershel to take a look at you.

**Carl Grimes:** hey dad! Can I go-

**Rick Grimes:** No

**Lori Grimes** likes this

**Shane Walsh:** Now if I had said that to Carl you would've been like: How could you brush him off like that? I don't want you near my family!

**Daryl Dixon** and **Glenn** like this

**Maggie Greene:** Hey guys sorry to interrupt this important stuff but I think we need to go on a run soon. For extra supplies.

**Rick Grimes:** good idea!

**Rick Grimes** created an event

**Rick Grimes:** whoever wants to come can come!

**Shane Walsh** is attending _We Definitely Have Time to Get Supplies!_

**Daryl Dixon** -feeling in pain ;( :I would seriously love to but I can't make it...

**Maggie Greene:** Why not?

**Daryl Dixon:** I don't know, maybe cause I have an arrow in my side?!

**Shane Walsh** likes this

**Carl Grimes:** I think we should do something. Like something we did before the dead came back!

**Rick Grimes, Lori Grimes, Beth Greene** and **4** others like this

**Glenn:** like what?

**T-Dog:** We could always play sports!

**Shane Walsh** and **Daryl Dixon** like this

**Shane Walsh:** yea we should! How about in a week?

**Daryl Dixon:** so I can play too. Oh by the way I'm almost back!

**Andrea:** I am currently on watch! Everything's clear.

**Shane Walsh:** Thanks. Keep it up Andrea! I'll come over in like an hour or so.

**Lori Grimes:** And then she can help out in the house for once instead of sitting up there and watching all day.

**Maggie Greene, Beth Greene,** and **1** other person like this

**Andrea:** I'm helping out enough. I don't have to hang out in the house all day!

**Shane Walsh:** You could always hang out in my tent

**Carl Grimes:** Hey dad? Does that mean-?

**Rick Grimes:** Yes Carl. Shane stop!

**Glenn:** Oh god. Don't broadcast that stuff?

**Shane Walsh: **Excuse me? Even Dale could figure out that you did it with Maggie in the pharmacy

**Daryl Dixon** likes this.

**Rick Grimes:** Ok there's a young person on this! We don't need to have this discussion right now

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey guys I'll be there soon. Get Hershel.

**Andrea:**Walker! Guys there's a walker!

**Shane Walsh:** Alright let's take care of it!

**Daryl Dixon:** Be right there guys. Man, I've lost a lot of blood.

**Rick Grimes:** No guns. We'll just stab it. Don't want to attract more.

**Glenn:** You got it.

**Thanks for reading guys! The chapters will probably get longer and shorter. They'll be all over. Reviews would be awesome!**


	3. She Saw Him Walkin', She Hatin'

**Here's the next chapter! It's takes place during Daryl's injured days. Hope you like it!**

**She Saw Him Walkin', She Hatin'**

**Daryl Dixon:** And as I lie here on my deathbed I would like to thank each and every one of you for being a great, great person to know during this apocalypse. Except Andrea. She can go to hell. But anyways, as my final wish, I want to be buried with my crossbow and I want an arrow enclosed in a golden box. I also want my name written on my cross and to have Merle's hand buried with me since he's not going to get it back. I'd also like the next person that sees Andrea to shoot her and tell her that revenge is a bitch. That will be all.

**Shane Walsh, Rick Grimes, Glenn,** and **6** others like this

**Rick Grimes:** Hershel said you were going to be fine Daryl. So stop with the big dramatic monologues.

**Daryl Dixon: **I often wondered how far I would make it in the apocalypse. I figured I would die a heroic death. Saving my friends or my brother. Jumping off of a roof to save Glenn and Maggie because they were to busy doing it in the pharmacy. I never thought I would die because I was mistaken for a walker.

**Shane Walsh, T-Dog,** and **2** others like this.

Shane Walsh: These monologues are pretty awesome. Are these really your final wishes?

**Daryl Dixon:** Yes.

**Rick Grimes:** Stop it Daryl! My feed is getting clogged up with all your monologues!

**Carl Grimes:** I think that Daryl shouldn't have gotten a Facebook

**Rick Grimes, Lori Grimes,** and **2** others like this.

**Daryl Dixon:** She saw me walkin' she hatin'! She's tryin to get rid of me by shootin' dirty! By shootin' dirty!

**Shane Walsh, Dale Horvath, Glenn,** and **2 **others like this.

**Andrea:** Daryl I told you I was sorry! What else do you want?

**Daryl Dixon:** How about you…..return that gun you took from me a few days ago?

**Andrea:** What are you talking about?

**Daryl Dixon:** That gun you took so you could practice loading it cause you suck at it

**Shane Walsh** and **Dale Horvath** like this.

**Shane Walsh:** She can't aim either. If she could, you would be dead Daryl!

**Dale Horvath:** I told her she shouldn't have a gun but she got mad at me

**Daryl Dixon:** C'mon brother, you gotta stand up to her.

**Glenn** likes this

**Andrea:** Fine I'll give you your stupid gun back later

**Daryl Dixon:** No. Now.

**Shane Walsh:** You know what? I think Hershel could use a radio too. I need some music

**Daryl Dixon, Rick Grimes, T-Dog,** and **3** others like this.

**Rick Grimes:** Music would be good. But we can't get everything.

**Daryl Dixon:** Where's the dislike button?

**Shane Walsh** and **T-Dog** like this

**Maggie Greene:** Sorry guys, but we don't have a working radio right now

**Shane Walsh:** Well Dale could always try and fix it. He's kind of good at things like that. Emphasis on _kind of_

**Carl Grimes:** I'd like music!

**Daryl Dixon:** No one cares Carl!

**Rick Grimes:** That was not nice Daryl!

**Shane Walsh:** Now see if I would've said that, Lori would've come over and slapped me or something. God, am I the only one who can't get away with insulting the Grimes Family?

**Glenn** and **Daryl Dixon** like this.

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey guys I know this is a weird time to bring this up and all but I saw Merle in the woods.

**Rick Grimes:** WHAT?

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea. He was talking with me while I walked but then he turned and ran away before I could get him to come back. –Feeling abandoned L

**Shane Walsh:** You sure about that? I think you're a little crazy.

**Lori Grimes:** I thought he was dead?

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea he is. And I'm also a kindergarten teacher and was previously a straight A student in high school.

**Glenn:** You were?

**Shane Walsh:** I'm not even going to comment on that.

**Daryl Dixon:** Sarcasm Glenn. Sarcasm.

**Rick Grimes:** I could see you being a kindergarten teacher

**Daryl Dixon:** What? How in the world could you see that?

**Rick Grimes:** Well, you don't mind kids. I mean if they got out of hand you would probably string them up on the wall and force-feed them squirrel or something but other than that….

**Shane Walsh, Maggie Greene, Glenn,** and **4** others like this.

**Daryl Dixon:** They wouldn't cause trouble then.

**Maggie Greene:** In Daryl's kindergarten class: Alright kids, today we're going to learn how to clean a squirrel

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey that's useful information!

**Maggie Greene:** And if you do it right, you can eat it afterwards.

**Daryl Dixon:** That's what all the teachers do! If they do an activity with food, the kids always get to eat it after!

**Shane Walsh:** No one would ever want to eat that. God. I'm never sending my kids to your school

**Maggie Greene:** Daryl, if we ever get out of this apocalypse, you should start a school. It would be fun

**Daryl Dixon:** I'm NOT starting a school.

**Carl Grimes:** I would go to your school!

**Shane Walsh:** No one cares Carl!

**Daryl Dixon** likes this.

**Lori Grimes:** SHANE!

**Shane Walsh:** OW! God. See I told you she would hit me

**Daryl Dixon:** Please stop. If I laugh any harder, I'll break the stitches in my side.

**Thanks for reading! Hope you guys liked that chapter! Reviews would be awesome!**


	4. Stuff and Things

**Back again with some more Facebook. Thanks for reviewing guys! Keep it up! So I had to write this chapter. Rick's little obsession with stuff and things finally gets on people's nerves**

**Stuff and Things**

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey T-Dog will you do that thing?

**Shane Walsh:** Is it just me or does that just sound plain wrong?

**Glenn, T-Dog,** and **Rick Grimes** like this

**Daryl Dixon:** Fine. T-Dog will you do that 'Ain't Nobody Got Time For That' thing

**T-Dog:** No. I'm not doing that. I am not doing anything for you Daryl

**Daryl Dixon:** Well what if I asked you to save me from being attacked by a horde of walkers?

**Shane Walsh **likes this.

**Rick Grimes:** Daryl you're more of a pain when you're hurt you know.

**Lori Grimes, T-Dog, Maggie Greene,** and **2** others like this

**Maggie Greene:** It's really to late to do this stuff.

**Rick Grimes:** Thangs

**Shane Walsh: **God I always hated when you did that. I thought that maybe you got rid of that bad habit. Guess not.

**Maggie Greene:** Back to what I was saying, I can hear him typing and laughing in the other room.

**Daryl Dixon:** Why are you listening to me? Stalker.

**Beth Greene: **We're in the room right next to yours. We can't help it

**Lori Grimes:** I remember the first night when he was in the tent next to ours and laughing. It is pretty hard to sleep. By the way who's on watch?

**Dale Horvath:** That would be me.

**Daryl Dixon:** Dale or Andrea. That family has watch issues.

**Shane Walsh** likes this

**Rick Grimes:** I volunteered but Dale was like: No I got. So then I was like alright fine.

**Daryl Dixon:** You're lying. You never went up to Dale. You were too busy doing stuff and thangs.

**Carl Grimes, Shane Walsh,** and **2** others like this

**Carl Grimes:** My dad is always doing stuff or thangs.

**Shane Walsh:** Sometimes both.

**Dale Horvath:** Oh by the way Daryl, Andrea and I aren't related.

**Daryl Dixon:** What. Well you sure act like it!

**Rick Grimes:** Yea and Shane and I aren't brothers either. We just act like it.

**Shane Walsh** likes this

**Daryl Dixon:** Fine. And Shane stop liking things!

**Rick Grimes:** And stuff.

**Shane Walsh:** OH GOD ALREADY

**Daryl Dixon, Carl Grimes, Lori Grimes,** and **3** others like this

**Lori Grimes:** Rick, please don't do that. It annoys everyone.

**Shane Walsh** likes this.

**Daryl Dixon:** Shane! It's so annoying. Stop liking things and stuff!

**Shane Walsh:** I'm going to like everything just to annoy you. Nah I won't but don't ever say things and stuff!

**Daryl Dixon:** YOU JUST SAID IT.

**Rick Grimes:** Yay! I'm getting everyone addicted to stuff and things

**Carl Grimes:** Dad stop its too much for them. I think I heard Daryl jump on Shane a minute ago. And I just looked out of the tent and they're fighting.

**T-Dog:** It's the middle of the night! Everyone go to bed!

**Daryl Dixon:** Ain't Nobody Got Time For That! See it would've been funnier if you had done it T-Dog

**Maggie Greene:** God Daryl! Stop with that already! It sounds like you're insane because I just hear you cracking up in the other room

**Shane Walsh:** He's always been insane. Didn't you hear the chat about seeing his dead brother?

**Daryl Dixon:** My brother's NOT DEAD

**Rick Grimes** likes this

**Rick Grimes:** Yea. We don't know for sure. There's a good chance he is but we don't know

**Daryl Dixon:** You guys better shut up.

**Beth Greene:** Does anyone know what time it is?

**Glenn:** Yea it's close to one in the morning.

**Daryl Dixon:** Really that early? I can go for another hour or so

**Hershel Greene:** Daryl you should rest

**Rick Grimes, Shane Walsh, Maggie Greene** and **1** other person like this

**Shane Walsh:** Wow. Hershel has a Facebook? Oh my god.

**Hershel Greene:** I don't come on here often because of the pointless things you people do on here. But Daryl needs to sleep and everyone else should rest too

**Shane Walsh:** AWW C'mon man. We're just having a bit of fun. Don't spoil our activities. At least we're not blowing up the barn or something.

**Glenn** likes this.

**Glenn:** Yea I mean. There's nothing bad about the barn

**Dale Horvath:** Glenn how about you come and take a shift on watch?

**Rick Grimes:** Yea Glenn go watch.

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea Glenn. We're trying to sleep here.

**Maggie Greene:** You are not trying to sleep!

**Rick Grimes:** Hey Dale where are you going?

**Dale Horvath:** I'm not going anywhere.

**Shane Walsh:** Oh wonderful. He's taking the guns again!

**Dale Horvath:** I am not!

**Shane Walsh:** Hey, remember what I said last time? I'm not going back on it

**Dale Horvath:** I DON'T HAVE THE GUNS

**Maggie Greene:** Guys wait. Wait!

**Rick Grimes:** What is it?

**Maggie Greene:** Daryl's asleep! Everyone get to bed now!

**Rick Grimes:** Right! C'mon guys we have stuff and things to do

**Shane Walsh:** Not that again!

**Thanks for reading guys! If you liked this chapter please leave a review! They help me a lot.**


	5. Kitchen Crisis

**Hey guys I'm back with another Chapter. So I just found something about Norman Reedus having to do with just buying a microwave this year. I had to do something with it...**

** Kitchen Crisis**

**Daryl Dixon:** I think I should be able to leave the house now.

**Rick Grimes:** Why do you think that?

**Daryl Dixon:** Because I can get up! And I hate sitting here doing nothing!

**Lori Grimes:** Well Daryl you could always help us cook because Andrea sure as hell doesn't.

**Shane Walsh, Daryl Dixon,** and **2** others like this

**Daryl Dixon:** I could but I don't want too.

**Rick Grimes:** Why not? It'd be good for you to get up and around.

**Daryl Dixon:** I just don't like cooking

**Shane Walsh:** Which means he can't.

**Daryl Dixon:** I can cook fine thank you very much

**Carl Grimes: **I can make a sandwich. And a salad!

**Rick Grimes:** Carl not now! We're busy. Doing things

**Shane Walsh:** Let's not go there!

**Lori Grimes:** I think Daryl should help us cook today.

**Daryl Dixon:** FINE IF YOU WANT ME TO THAT BADLY

**Maggie Greene: **That's good. Come on down and help us out right now.

**Daryl Dixon:** Already? C'mon I'm tired

**Lori Grimes:** Sorry Daryl. Now come down here

**Andrea:** Well, guess I won't be needed in the kitchen

**Maggie Greene:** Not like you would help anyway

**Lori Grimes, Rick Grimes, Shane Walsh,** and **2 **others like this.

**Shane Walsh:** Rick, do you think I should be able to talk to your family?

**Rick Grimes:** What kind of question is that?

**Lori Grimes:** He's starting some kind of petition about it.

**Rick Grimes:** Oh well as long as you aren't a total idiot its fine

**Shane Walsh:** Anyone else?

**Glenn:** We really don't want to get involved in your family issues.

**Maggie Greene, Dale Horvath,** and **2** others like this.

**Lori Grimes:** Rick we need to talk later

**Shane Walsh:** Now we need a dislike button

**Carl Grimes:** Why doesn't someone make one?

**Shane Walsh:** Now where's the face-palm button?

**Daryl Dixon** likes this.

**Maggie Greene:** Ok. I think we shouldn't have asked Daryl to cook with us

**Daryl Dixon:** So am I supposed to actually do something here?

**Shane Walsh:** Is it really that bad?

**Daryl Dixon:** I'm a hunter guys! I don't even know how to turn the freakin microwave on!

**Rick Grimes:** Oh man. I am laughing so hard right now

**Daryl Dixon:** I might start something on fire

**Maggie Greene:** Not if we're here

**Daryl Dixon:** I'm gonna just watch you.

**Beth Greene: **You could cut vegetables or something

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea ok. Let me grab my knife

**Shane Walsh:** That face-palm button better make its way on here soon.

**Maggie Greene:** You don't need a hunting knife to cut vegetables, Daryl.

**Daryl Dixon:** Well I've always used one

**Rick Grimes:** That's cause you only eat squirrel. Raw ones at that.

**Shane Walsh:** Is there any type of cooking you can do?

**Daryl Dixon:** Sure. I can grill. Like burgers and stuff. But we don't have any of those. And these women want me to cut plants and microwave something that I have no idea what it is.

**Rick Grimes:** What is it Maggie?

**Maggie Greene:** I never gave him anything to microwave. I just told him to set the timer on it so when we were ready to use it we could just start it

**Shane Walsh:** Wow, this is going to forever stay up on Facebook

**Rick Grimes, Maggie Greene, Beth Greene,** and **5** others like this

**Lori Grimes:** This is really bad. Ok fine Daryl you can leave and go lay down again

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey I got it guys! I got the timer set!

**Shane Walsh, Rick Grimes,** and **2** others like this

**Maggie Greene:** Congratulations Daryl

**Daryl Dixon:** But there's no way that I'm staying here and doing this. I'm getting out of here

**Beth Greene:** Well I hope that we all learned our lesson today

**Lori Grimes:** That Daryl is a better cook than Andrea?

**Daryl Dixon** likes this

**Beth Greene:** That too! But I don't think we should ask for his help anymore

**Daryl Dixon:** I can set the timer for the microwave. Everyone come and eat the dinner that I helped make

**Carl Grimes:** Let's go Dad

**Shane Walsh:** This should be good

**Daryl Dixon:** Oh come on guys, I didn't do any of the actual cooking

**Maggie Greene:** So Daryl tried to cut vegetables with a hunting knife and he couldn't work the microwave for an hour. I forgot to tell you he was afraid of touching the toaster at first

**Shane Walsh** likes this

**Beth Greene:** We didn't use it but he didn't like it

**Daryl Dixon:** Anything that makes things pop out at you with no warning deserves to be stabbed

**Lori Grimes:** I guess you didn't like jack-in-the-boxes when you were little did you?

**Daryl Dixon:** No way

**Rick Grimes:** I say we go ahead and eat. It's been a rough day for Daryl in the kitchen

**Shane Walsh, Daryl Dixon,** and **3 **others like this

**Shane Walsh:** Yea sounds about right

**Daryl Dixon:** Just wait until I cook a meal. You guys are going to love it

**Maggie Greene:** Oh no

**Thanks for reading! Hope it made you smile :) Reviews would be great! Any ideas or suggestions would be great**


	6. Didn't See That Coming

**Here is the next chapter! I'm glad you guys all thought Daryl's kitchen issues were amusing. Hope you like this chapter too!**

**Didn't See That Coming**

**Daryl Dixon:** Andrea had sex with Shane! I want everyone to know that

**Shane Walsh:** Daryl! That was not supposed to be broadcasted

**Andrea:** Yea nice job Daryl

**Rick Grimes:** At shooting practice? Wow didn't see that coming.

**Daryl Dixon:** Shane is getting around alright

**Lori Grimes:** Daryl stop talking. Go eat a squirrel

**Carl Grimes:** You know if that was supposed to be an insult it probably didn't work.

**Glenn:** Yea cause he eats squirrels all the time. Remember the first time you met him Rick? 'Merle! I got us some squirrel! Come stew 'em up!'

**Andrea:** When Merle was still here. Can't say I miss him

**Glenn, Rick Grimes,** and **3** others like this

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey guess what? If you click on the '3 others' I'm not in there!

**Dale Horvath:** That's nice Daryl

**Glenn **likes this

**Maggie Greene:** I've never met this Merle. Why is he such a bad guy

**Merle Dixon:** Whoever said I was a bad guy? I think I'm pretty awesome

**Daryl Dixon:** MERLE!

**Rick Grimes: Didn't see that coming!**

**Merle Dixon:** Hey hey little brother! What you doin still hangin out with these guys?

**Shane Walsh:** I can hear his freakin accent.

**Daryl Dixon is now friends with Merle Dixon**

**Daryl Dixon:** They aren't bad people. I mean Shane does it with a different person every night so….. Everyone loves each other. I heard Andrea was getting around if you wanted to try

**Andrea:** That is not funny Daryl. You can shut up.

**Maggie Greene** is now friends with **Merle Dixon**

**Glenn:** Maggie…..

**Maggie Greene:** I don't see anything wrong with him right now

**Merle Dixon:** There's nothing wrong with me. Jesus Daryl what have you been telling these people?

**Daryl Dixon:** Nothing! I swear to god I didn't tell them about the coke in your bag.

**Rick Grimes:** What?

**Daryl Dixon:** Whoops

**Merle Dixon:** Thank you very much. God I wish I was there right now because I would tie you to a tree and let you sleep there

**Daryl Dixon:** I've done that before

**Rick Grimes:** What?

**Shane Walsh:** I'm not going to friend Merle. No way

**T-Dog** is now friends with **Merle Dixon**

**Rick Grimes:** Well I really didn't see that one coming

**Glenn, Daryl Dixon,** and **2** others like this

**Shane Walsh:** Stop sending me friend requests Merle!

**Merle Dixon** likes this

**Carl Grimes:** Hey how come Merle is so good at Facebook but Daryl wasn't?

**Merle Dixon:** I had one before. Daryl never got one.

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea cause you never showed me how

**Rick Grimes:** Might as well get this over with. Don't want to end up like Shane

**Rick Grimes** is now friends with **Merle Dixon**

**Carl Grimes:** Can I be friends with Merle, dad?

**Merle Dixon:** Hell yea you can!

**Lori Grimes:** That is not a good idea Rick!

**Daryl Dixon:** There's nothing wrong with my brother!

**Shane Walsh:** There're a lot of things wrong with your brother. A lot of things

**Rick Grimes:** And stu….

**Shane Walsh:** Don't say it!

**Merle Dixon:** He still doing that things and stuff thing?

**Daryl Dixon:** That sentence looks funny

**Glenn** and **T-Dog** like this

**Maggie Greene:** Rick has been doing the thing and stuff thing for a long time

**Daryl Dixon:** the thing and stuff thing. The stuff with things and stuff. Is stuffs a word? Like I have lots of stuffs?

**Rick Grimes:** No I don't think it is

**Daryl Dixon:** I like that word. Stuffs. It's a good word

**T-Dog:** Daryl you should eat a Snickers

**Daryl Dixon:** What?

**T-Dog:** You get weird when you're hungry

**Daryl Dixon:** Do we have a Snickers?

**Shane Walsh:** Fresh out

**Rick Grimes:** What is with all this weird stuff happening?

**Glenn:** I hated that commercial. It was really weird

**Daryl Dixon:** I'm fine. I don't need a stupid Snickers bar

**Merle Dixon:** Has the group gotten weirder since I left?

**Carl Grimes:** Yea. Hey Merle! While everyone is distracted accept my friend request

**Merle Dixon:** Oh. Sure kid

**Merle Dixon** is now friends with **Carl Grimes** and **2** others

**Lori Grimes:** I did not approve of that

**Daryl Dixon:** I totally did.

**Shane Walsh:** Carl you shouldn't hang out with Merle. He's a bad influence

**Daryl Dixon:** And I suppose you're a better one? Mr. I-Will-Have-Sex-With-Anyone-Who-Comes-Near-Me

**Rick Grimes, Merle Dixon,** and **3** others like this

**Lori Grimes:** Carl log off. I feel like this conversation is going to go into dark places

**Shane Walsh:** Nah I'm done with all of this

**Daryl Dixon:** You're never going to live it down. I will be here to forever remind you

**Shane Walsh:** Get Bit Daryl

**Merle Dixon:** Is that the new form of Bite Me?

**Rick Grimes:** Yes. Get Bit

**Daryl Dixon:** Actually I think it was more of a death threat

**Glenn, Maggie Greene, Rick Grimes,** and **4 **others like this

**Lori Grimes:** You are getting a little annoying Daryl

**Merle Dixon:** He's always annoying

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey Merle, where are you? How do you type with one hand? You know I still have it

**Merle Dixon:** I'm at a town with some psychos. Don't come here. Daryl I'm serious.

**Rick Grimes:** This might be interesting. There're more people alive?

**Merle Dixon:** Yea weird people

**Rick Grimes:** We'll get around at some point

**Daryl Dixon:** Why I don't you leave? Come find us. Please

**Merle Dixon:** No the leader doesn't like people running off. I'm fine though. Just be careful

**Shane Walsh:** Well that was some important information

**Maggie Greene:** Daryl I got a different horse for you to ride

**Daryl Dixon:** I don't want to ride any more of your dad's horses

**Merle Dixon:** He fell off didn't he?

**Shane Walsh:** Yea

**Merle Dixon:** He's not good with horses.

**Rick Grimes:** I kind of figured that after he came back from his trip

**Shane Walsh:** Did you know that a few days ago, Daryl tried to cook?

**Merle Dixon:** Didn't see that coming

**Daryl Dixon:** I wasn't good at it

**Maggie Greene:** He was afraid of the toaster

**Merle Dixon:** I did see that coming though. He's never liked things that popped up

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey, I like meerkats

**Glenn, Shane Walsh,** and **2** others like this

**Rick Grimes:** Do they really pop up though? Not fast

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea they do. You know they're fast little SOBs

**Glenn:** Oh god. They're animals though

**Merle Dixon:** He couldn't watch scary movies either. When we lived together for a short time I tried to make him watch a horror movie with me and he refused

**Shane Walsh:** Awww. Is little Daryl Dixon afraid of some fake scary movie?

**Daryl Dixon:** I'm going to stomp your ass Shane

**Merle Dixon** likes this

**Rick Grimes:** And their fighting

**Maggie Greene:** I saw that coming. They're always at each other's throats. Remember when they used to agree on things?

**Rick Grimes:** I'm glad those days are over

**Merle Dixon:** My brother used to agree with Shane? Man I missed a lot of things

**Rick Grimes:** And stuff

**Shane Walsh:** STOP THAT

**Daryl Dixon:** I won!

**Glenn:** The fight is over. Daryl is the champ

**Daryl Dixon:** Thank you, thank you. No need for the applause

**Shane Walsh:** No one was applauding you

**Lori Grimes:** Can you guys stop? Every five seconds I'm getting alerts that one of you posted something and I'm trying to sleep

**Daryl Dixon:** Is it night already? Hey guess what? Dale's on watch again

**Rick Grimes:** I saw that coming!

**So what did ya think? Thanks for reading guys! Reviews would be great! I'll update as often as possible!**


	7. Pissing Off Shane and Other People

**Next chapter is here! So I'm not exactly sure where I got this idea but here it is! Hope you guys enjoy!**

**Chapter 7**

**Pissing off Shane and Other People**

**Rick Grimes:** Hey guys! It is currently…2am!

**Glenn:** Of course. Cause we never come on here at any other time

**Carl Grimes:** My dad is lighting the tent up with his phone.

**Dale Horvath:** All is quiet out here. Does someone want to take watch?

**Andrea:** Yea I can do it.

**Lori Grimes:** No Andrea you should cook us all breakfast

**Andrea:** Why in the world should I do that? That's girly stuff

**Maggie Greene:** Last time I checked you are a girl so…..

**Rick Grimes:** Ooooo. Kill 'em.

**Carl Grimes:** What does that mean dad?

**Rick Grimes:** You know I'm actually not sure. It was just something that people started doing in high school J. I caught on.

**Lori Grimes:** Rick stop making high school references

**Rick Grimes: **Shane banged the physical education teacher.

**Glenn: **Shane gets around

**Daryl Walshixon:** Hey guys!

**Rick Grimes:** Did you get hacked? Cause your name is really messed up

**Daryl Walshixon:** Nah. I'm going to try and piss Shane off.

**Lori Grimes, Andrea,** and **3** others like this

**Maggie Greene:** This should be good.

**Daryl Walshixon:** Yep. I have a plan. I think

**Shane Walsh:** Rick why are you telling people about high school?

**Andrea:** He's spreading rumors

**Daryl Walshixon:** Hey! Shane! I'm your lil' bro. Haha. See what I did?

**Shane Walsh:** Hey get that shit off of here? C'mon that's not funny

**Daryl Walshixon:** *sniffs* but I just wanna be like you….

**Rick Grimes:** I'm sorry Carl but I'm going to keep you awake cause I'm laughing

**Carl Grimes:** No it's fine dad. Take your time

**Shane Walsh:** I swear if you don't take that thing off of right now I will severely harm you

**Merle Dixon:** Is that what you said to the gym teacher?

**Rick Grimes, Glenn, Lori Grimes,** and **4** others like this

**Daryl Walshixon:** I'm sorry Shane, but I just want to be like you. You know, get a different woman every month.

**Shane Walsh:** That's it. I'm coming over.

**Daryl Walshixon:** You don't gotta go anywhere. I'm sleeping right next to ya

**Shane Walsh:** You son of a bitch how did you get in here without me seeing you?

**Carl Grimes:** If any of you here the howling of a wolf or the cackling of a crazy witch, that's my dad.

**Andrea:** Actually that sounds like more your mom

**Daryl Walshixon:** Oooo kill 'em. And by the way Rick, that expression is supposed to show amazement/feeling impressed. Like I was impressed with that come back

**Rick Grimes:** Well that clears things up. How do you know Daryl?

**Daryl Walshixon:** I did go to school for a while guys. God you all think I'm stupid. By the way, I'm out of Shane's tent. He kicked me out ;(

**Maggie Greene:** Wow Daryl. You were actually really good at ticking people off

**Rick Grimes, Carl Grimes,** and **2 **others like this

**Carl Grimes:** Daryl do it to someone else!

**Lori Grimes:** You should say that to Andrea!

**Rick Grimes:** Oh man. Is this gonna just be the women ragging on each other's sexual relations?

**Shane Walsh:** Well what do you expect brother? That's basically what they used to talk about too.

**Daryl Walshixon:** Oh so you call him brother but not me. ;( feeling abandoned again

**Glenn** likes this

**Glenn:** Yea come on Shane, give Daryl your love too

**Daryl Walshixon:** But not the kind you gave to Lori and Andrea

**Carl Grimes:** Dad's laughing again!

**Shane Walsh:** Everyone shut up already

**Rick Grimes:** Things get weird after 2am

**Andrea, Lori Grimes, Carl Grimes,** and **4** others like this

**Maggie Greene:** I'm glad my dad is not on here. I mean, he'd probably have a heart attack

**Merle Dixon:** Where the hell is Daryl? He takes the longest breaks in the world.

**Glenn:** Yea. He didn't come on until we were knee deep in Lori's sex life

**Maggie Greene:** Oh no we were higher than knee deep

**Andrea:** More like chest deep

**Lori Grimes:** Hey you have the same amount of it

**Daryl Horvixon:** Yea. Hey Dale I'm your son!

**Carl Grimes:** Dad stop laughing!

**Dale Horvath:** Daryl whatever you're about to do, you need to stop

**Daryl Horvixon:** Sorry dad! Anyway, can I borrow your tools? My truck's broken

**T-Dog:** So if Daryl is Dale's son does that mean that Shane is also Dale's son since Daryl is Shane's younger brother?

**Carl Grimes:** Guys stop! My dad is dying over here

**Dale Horvath:** I don't like lending out my tools to people.

**Daryl Horvixon:** But I'm your son.

**Rick Grimes: **Daryl are you drunk or something? Cause you've been extra crazy

**Daryl Horvixon:** Dad doesn't appreciate drinking in his house so no I'm not :D

**Andrea:** This is actually pretty amazing

**Dale Horvath:** Daryl go to bed.

**Daryl Horvixon:** But I'm old enough to stay up! By the way I have your tools in my tent

**Shane Walsh:** Why are there tools in my tent?

**Rick Grimes, Andrea, Carl Grimes,** and **4** others like this

**Maggie Greene:** Daryl wow

**Dale Horvath:** Ok Daryl. If I'm your dad, then I'm going to tell you what to do. And I want you to put my tools back, go back to your brother's tent, and go to sleep

**Daryl Horvixon:** Fine

**Shane Walsh:** No! NO! Don't send him back here

**Merle Dixon:** He just left didn't he? God Damn!

**Maggie Greene:** Sorry Merle. Maybe you'll have better luck next time

**Merle Dixon:** I don't even know. Just tell him he's doing a great job of annoying people

**Rick Grimes:** Cannot breathe. Holy crap what an epic night

**Glenn:** That's What Lori/Andrea Said!

**Carl Grimes:** Mom is currently smacking my dad for laughing at that

**Shane Walsh:** Hit 'em good Lori!

**Glenn:** That sounds really weird. I'm just so done with this

**Maggie Greene, Lori Grimes,** and **2 **others like this

**Daryl Greenixon:** Hey ya'll. Ya'll better stay away from that barn with my zombified family in it

**Carl Grimes:** My dad's laughing again

**Shane Walsh:** C'mon. If you didn't at least smile for that you have a problem

**Daryl Greenixon:** Ya'll better not use them guns on my property. I don't like all that violence.

**Shane Walsh** likes this

**Maggie Greene:** Ok Daryl you're getting really annoying

**Daryl Greenixon:** You better not get to close with that Asian boy. That group ain't gonna be around here long enough to have any sexual relations

**Glenn:** Daryl, you're insulting our host

**Daryl Greenixon:** We call her Nervous Nelly for a reason. If ya'd asked instead of running off this never would've happened.

**Shane Walsh:** Let's go destroy the barn full of walkers!

**Rick Grimes:** No! That would be totally disrespectful

**Daryl Greenixon:** Ya Shane. They're just sick people

**Carl Grimes:** I hear Shane howling from his tent

**Daryl Greenixon:** How do you think I feel? I'm right next to him

**Shane Walsh:** Get out of my tent!

**Daryl Greenixon:** Fine

**Lori Grimes:** I'm done with my husband

**Glenn:** Shane's free

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey guys I'm done doing that stuff tonight.

**Carl Grimes:** Thank god. My dad was going to die if you didn't stop

**Maggie Greene:** Ok. Daryl you went a little to far.

**Daryl Dixon:** I was fine. You're just annoyed cause I did your dad

**Shane Walsh:** Daryl's gay

**Daryl Dixon:** What?

**Carl Grimes:** My dad went off again

**Shane Walsh:** You did her dad eh Daryl? Never took you for a person that liked guys. But I guess the way you kept sneaking in here kind of proves it

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey I'm not gay! I mean, not there's anything wrong with it, but I'm not gay! I had a girlfriend in school. For a week

**Rick Grimes:** Don't worry Daryl, I didn't have a ton of girlfriends either.

**Merle Dixon:** Shane did the gym teacher. It was a girl though

**Daryl Dixon:** Hi Merle! And yea I know I saw that conversation

**Shane Walsh:** Merle get a life

**Merle Dixon:** You shouldn't be talking. What have you done with your life Shane? You were a cop and then you had sex with your friend's wife

**Rick Grimes, Andrea, Daryl Dixon,** and **5** others like this

**Daryl Dixon:** Oh I have a perfect idea for next time we're on here

**Carl Grimes:** Will my dad start laughing? Cause if he is going to, can we do this earlier?

**Lori Grimes:** Yes. It's like 4am now. We've done pointless stuff for two hours

**Daryl Dixon:** It may have been pointless, but it was hilarious

**Glenn:** You could say that about Shane's sex life!

**Daryl Dixon:** OOOOO KILL 'EM!

**Not meant to cause any offense. Same sex relations is fine by me. I don't hate Hershel or Shane but there are a few things that they do that aren't the right choices. Anyway, thanks for reading guys! And Reviews would be excellent!**


	8. Nachos, Tacos, and Burritos

**I'm back with another chapter. So the chapters are basically going to involve everyone. I don't think anyone is going to die and there's not really in progress in time. They will probably discuss things that occur later on but no one will really die. Unless I want them too.**

**Chapter 8**

**Nachos, Tacos, and Burritos**

**Merle Dixon:** Finally bored out of my mind

**Daryl Dixon:** Don't worry, I have a good plan for today

**Merle Dixon:** Does it involve mocking people again? Cause that was good

**Daryl Dixon:** Maybe in a certain way

**Rick Grimes:** Last night was crazy. I'm so glad I got some sleep

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey Rick :v)

**Rick Grimes:** What kind of face is that?

**Daryl Dixon:** I don't know. I guess it's a chicken

**T-Dog:** Hey I could seriously go for some fast food

**Rick Grimes** and **Daryl Dixon** like this

**Carl Grimes:** I'm tired

**Lori Grimes:** That's because you were up all night

**Shane Walsh:** Wow. This is like a laughter hangover

**Daryl Walsh-Grimes:** Hey guys! I'm Shane and Lori's love child

**Carl Grimes:** Hey my dad started laughing again

**Shane Walsh:** This is going to far!

**Daryl Walsh Grimes:** See here, I'm tough like my dad, but I'll sleep with anyone

**Maggie Greene:** And welcome back Daryl

**Glenn:** Hey that's actually great!

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea I know. I just had to put it out there. It was just a little short thing I needed to get out

**Rick Grimes:** That was good. I mean, Daryl you shouldn't have said that

**Glenn:** Sorry buddy, you're too late

**Shane Walsh:** Rick's blowing it

**Merle Dixon:** Well Daryl, I think you've exhausted all of your impersonations

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea sorry guys I'm done

**Lori Grimes:** Thank god

**Shane Walsh** and **Andrea** like this

**Caesar Martinez:** Hey what's up?

**Daryl Dixon:** The hell are you?

**Merle Dixon:** He's a good guy, he's over here with me

**Caesar Martinez:** Yea, see I'm a good guy

**Rick Grimes:** Wow, did WiFi spread or what?

**Merle Dixon, Daryl Dixon, Maggie Greene,** and **6** others like this

**Daryl Dixon:** Oh my god!

**Carl Grimes:** Light bulb

**Daryl Dixon:** T-Dog you could get your fast food from him, just ask for some Taco Bell

**Shane Walsh:** Oh no it's the racist Daryl

**Daryl Dixon:** I was actually thinking I could go for some nachos.

**Rick Grimes:** Daryl stop, I'm going to get hungry

**Caesar Martinez:** Wow I feel so welcomed. Sorry, no tacos here. Or nachos. Or anything else Mexican

**Daryl Dixon:** 'cept you

**Merle Dixon:** Ok Martinez, I'm sorry. Daryl, you're being real hilarious but maybe you should stop

**Carl Grimes:** Why do they call you by your last name?

**Caesar Martinez:** Would you really want to be called Caesar

**Daryl Dixon:** Little Caesar's! Pizza Pizza!

**Carl Grimes:** My dad's laughing again

**Lori Grimes:** I was actually thinking pizza sounded good

**Glenn:** That's a bad craving to have right now since that's not really available to us

**Caesar Martinez** is now friends with **Daryl Dixon, Rick Grimes,** and **10** other people

**Daryl Dixon:** Wow, everyone accepted his request but it took forever for my brother to get involved

**Andrea:** Well, he doesn't seem to be bad

**Merle Dixon:** So 'Tinez, watch out for Lori and Andrea, they're some of those people who believe in free love.

**Shane Walsh:** There goes Rick again

**Daryl Dixon, Merle Dixon** and **2** others like this.

**Daryl Dixon:** So Taco Boy, what's your story?

**T-Dog:** Sorry, but for a second I thought you were gonna be all like what's your sign?

**Merle Dixon:** Really? Really? That is the worst pick up line ever

**Rick Grimes:** Yea, just listen to some of Merle's. He knocks them out of the park

**Caesar Martinez:** What do you mean? I'm living in an apocalypse just like you guys

**Glenn:** He means, have you lost people? Family?

**Caesar Martinez:** Uh. Yea. Yea I'm the last one left

**Daryl Dixon:** Sorry to hear that man

**Maggie Greene:** So, Andrea finally decided to help out in the house today

**Shane Walsh:** *small heart attack* This can't be real. Is it a dream?

**Glenn:** Nah if it was a dream, you'd be banging Lori

**Shane Walsh:** Says the kid who had sex with Maggie in the pharmacy

**Caesar Martinez:** Sex! Is that all you people talk about on Facebook?

**Daryl Dixon:** Nah we also talk about what a bitch Andrea can be. And why I don't cook.

**Rick Grimes:** And stuff and thangs

**Shane Walsh:** I mean there's nothing really to discuss on Facebook. Hey guys I saw a walker today. Hey guys I saw a walker today. Hey guys I killed two walkers today. That's freakin boring

**Merle Dixon:** Point there

**Maggie Greene:** I love how everyone is so used to Rick's habit we just ignore it

**Caesar Martinez: **Stuff and thangs. Why does he do that?

**Shane Walsh:** It's just an old habit. He was always doing stuff and things before it was cool

**Daryl Dixon:** He was also saying: "Oooo kill 'em" way after it was cool

**Caesar Martinez:** People still say that? I thought that was a high school thing

**Lori Grimes:** It is a high school thing

**Carl Grimes:** I want to use it.

**Daryl Dixon:** You gotta use it at the right time kid.

**Andrea:** Hey guys, I'm on watch

**Daryl Dixon:** Nobody likes this

**Rick Grimes:** Sorry Andrea, but no one trusts you on watch after the incident

**Lori Grimes:** Sudden craving for burritos

**Daryl Dixon:** You heard her Taco Boy, go make her some burritos

**Caesar Martinez:** I'm not making burritos. And quit calling me Taco Boy

**Carl Grimes:** Hey Daryl, when can I say it?

**Glenn:** This saying is turning into a big thing

**Rick Grimes:** I just wanted to know what it meant. Shane said it all the time in high school

**Maggie Greene:** But does he say it anymore? No

**Caesar Martinez:** No one does. I haven't heard that saying for about twenty years

**Dale Horvath:** I am no longer on watch

**Merle Dixon:** You still got that RV? Cause I got a pack of smokes in there I could use

**Daryl Dixon:** Nah I used the last one yesterday

**Merle Dixon:** Daaaarrrryyylllll! Why you do this?

**Carl Grimes:** My dad is having a fit again and I think I hear Shane laughing too

**Dale Horvath:** I don't have any illegal substances in my van

**Daryl Dixon:**….I got nothing

**Shane Walsh:** No snappy comeback huh?

**Glenn:** I need some food. Do we got any chips?

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea. And we need salsa. Hey Ta-

**Caesar Martinez:** I'M NOT GETTING YOU ANYTHING. AND QUIT WITH THE STUPID NICKNAME

**Lori Grimes:** You broke him Daryl

**Daryl Dixon:** Welcome to the club 'Tinez. Enjoy your time on this stupid website

**Caesar Martinez:** Thank you

**Andrea:** So Shane said he was going on a run

**Daryl Dixon: **We need nachos

**Lori Grimes:** And burritos

**Shane Walsh:** Hey guys I'm going on a run so anything I should get?

**Daryl Dixon:** We need nachos

**Lori Grimes:** And burritos

**Merle Dixon:** And Pizza

**Shane Walsh**: Do you even go here? I don't think so

**Merle Dixon:** Hey Martinez, do you want to get some pizza?

**Martinez:** I'm not getting you pizza

**Carl Grimes:** He actually wanted to get pizza with you. Like on a date

**Daryl Dixon:** I even heard Rick on that one

**Rick Grimes:** I'm sorry but there's nothing ever to laugh about anymore so you have to take what you get

**Merle Dixon, Andrea, Glenn,** and **5** others like this

**Glenn:** Well Shane, go on your run

**Daryl Dixon: **Hey Merle, guess what?! If you want a pizza you should talk to Glenn cause he delivered them before

**Merle Dixon:** I might have to kidnap him and get his information on where I could find me one of them

**Glenn:** Don't come anywhere near me! You and your racist comments should stay away

**Merle Dixon:** Ok. That was one time. ONE TIME. Daryl's been worse

**Caesar Martinez:** No Merle's bad.

**Daryl Dixon, Glenn, T-Dog** and **2** others like this

**Hope you guys liked it! Reviews will be awesome. I will incorporate some of your suggestions for sure!**


	9. Gasoline Is The Best Remedy

**Next chapter is here! You guys are amazing! So many reviews that's awesome! So here it is. References to Season 4 so if you haven't watched it then go do it. Right Now.**

**The Best Remedy is Gasoline**

**Shane Walsh:** Guys, I feel really bad. It must've been something I ate

**Daryl Dixon:** I didn't cook anything I swear!

**Shane Walsh:** I know I know, I just do not feel like getting up but throwing up on the other hand….

**Rick Grimes:** EW please stop talking right now

**Daryl Dixon, Carol Peletier,** and **2** others like this

**Maggie Greene:** My dad is a doctor, he can take a look at you Shane

**Shane Walsh:** Can he come out here? I don't wanna get up

**Daryl Dixon:** Lazy-ass

**Rick Grimes, Andrea, Maggie Greene,** and **4** others like this

**Carl Grimes:** Everyone stay away from Shane's tent. It's infected

**Daryl Dixon:** You got it

**Shane Walsh:** It's probably your fault Daryl! You got your redneck germs in here

**Rick Grimes:** Hey everyone! Just to let you know Shane is super cranky right now because he's sick so leave him be and try to ignore everything he says!

**Daryl Dixon** and **Merle Dixon** like this

**Carol Peletier:** Since Hershel isn't coming out I can try and see what's wrong

**Rick Grimes:** Suuuuuurrrrrrrreeeeee. Ok yea go ahead.

**Carl Grimes:** Don't get sick!

**Daryl Dixon:** Well while she's doing that, what's going on everyone?

**Dale Horvath:** I think we should call large groups of walkers herds. Like a heard of walkers

**Rick Grimes:** That sounds like a good idea. Everyone in favor like my status

**Daryl Dixon, Carl Grimes, Andrea,** and **10** others like this

**Andrea:** I think we should come up with nicknames for everyone in the group

**Beth Greene:** Why should we do that?

**Andrea:** Well, it gets boring sometimes. And since Shane isn't well, we won't have any fights

**Glenn:** Actually she means that since Shane isn't well, she won't be getting any

**Carl Grimes:** OOOOO Kill 'em!

**Daryl Dixon:** There we go! See I told you we needed to wait for the right time!

**Rick Grimes:** Daryl stop teaching my son things and stuff

**Daryl Dixon:** You taught him it! I was reinforcing how to use it

**Carl Grimes** likes this

**Maggie Greene:** So this nickname thing?

**Daryl Dixon:** I already have mine for each of you

**Andrea: **Oh god. Let's hear it Daryl

**Daryl Dixon:** Ok. Rick is Captain. Shane is STD. T-Dog already has one. Glenn is Short Round. I'm the Badass. Lori is Slut. Andrea is Whor. Dale is TheNightWatchman. Maggie can be the 2nd Badass. Beth is the Singer and Hershel is FarmerBen. Did I miss anyone?

**Carl Grimes:** Me!

**Daryl Dixon:** Oh right! Sorry Carl. You're TheKidWhoNeverStaysIntheHouse

Rick Grimes likes this

**Rick Grimes:** That's a long nickname. Why is Shane STD?

**Daryl Dixon:** Well it means two things. First of all he's probably going to end up with one. And Two: It's an acronym for Shane The Dick.

**T-Dog:** I think you're missing someone else but I can't remember

**Shane Walsh:** Carol is definitely not helping me get better

**T-Dog:** That's who you forgot. Carol

**Daryl Dixon:** Oh yea! Let me think

**Rick Grimes:** You ok Shane?

**Shane Walsh:** What the hell? Oh god I gotta run. I have to get out of here. Rick I'm covered in gasoline.

**Carl Grimes:** I thought gasoline was bad for you

**Rick Grimes:** It is. Shane what are you doing?

**Shane Walsh:** She tried to set me on fire man! I don't know why but that woman is psycho.

**Daryl Dixon:** What the hell? So Carol's nickname can be WomanOnFire

**Shane Walsh:** More like Woman-Who-Wants-To-Set-Other-People-On-Fire

**Rick Grimes:** WWWTSOPOF!

**Carol Peletier:** It's the quickest way to cure a sickness.

**Shane Walsh:** Yes. I know. It's also one of the quickest ways to kill somebody. You need to go back to medical school!

**Daryl Dixon, Rick Grimes, Carl Grimes,** and **5** others like this

**Rick Grimes:** Seeing a psychologist might be more beneficial

**Carol Peletier:** I'm just trying to protect the group

**Rick Grimes:** By killing people? That's not how we roll. Shane isn't a threat

**Carol Peletier:** Daryl you agree right?

**Daryl Dixon:** Nope sorry. What was that? Couldn't quite hear ya. Sorry but I don't believe in killing our people unless they threaten us

**Rick Grimes, Shane Walsh,** and **3** others like this

**Dale Horvath:** Wow I'm glad I'm up here on the RV

**Daryl Dixon:** Dale, you're always up there on the RV

**Dale Horvath:** I know. Do you see why?

**Daryl Dixon:** Actually yea. Hang on I'm coming up

**Rick Grimes:** Carol, you aren't allowed near any of us. Guys we're going to need some extra watch shifts

**Carl Grimes:** I can take watch Dad

**Lori Grimes:** I would rather not have my son on watch

**Carl Grimes:** Yea well I would rather be on watch

**Rick Grimes:** Don't talk to your mom like that

**T-Dog:** Family Issues

**Beth Greene, Maggie Greene,** and **2** others like this

**Daryl Dixon** has updated his status to: Chillin' with Dale on the RV Roof

**Rick Grimes:** I can't believe you actually went up there Daryl

**Daryl Dixon:** It's rather nice. I think I'll come up here more often

**Glenn:** It's rather nice inside. But be careful Daryl! You can't keep secrets from Dale. He knows everything

**Daryl Dixon:** Maybe if you were a better secret keeper he wouldn't know everything

**Dale Horvath:** How does Daryl know that I know everything?

**Glenn:** I told him

**Dale Horvath:** Wasn't that supposed be our secret?

**Glenn:** Oh yea. Whoops.

**Daryl Dixon:** I would've figure it out anyway

**Rick Grimes:** Daryl has a bad habit of knowing things that he shouldn't

**Glenn, Dale Horvath,** and **2** others like this

**Shane Walsh:** I need to get this gasoline off of me

**Glenn:** Well, we could always burn it LOL

**Shane Walsh:** DEATH THREAT! I say we vote Glenn out of the group. All in favor like my status!

**Daryl Dixon:** No one likes this

**Lori Grimes:** So let me get this straight. Shane is sick and Carol tried to set him on fire?

**Rick Grimes:** Yea basically

**Shane Walsh:** Yea. She tried to kill me. I no longer feel safe here -_-

**Daryl Dixon:** HAHAHA. THAT FACE

**Carl Grimes:** Doesn't it go like: Dat Face?

**Lori Grimes:** Carl where are you learning this stuff?

**Carl Grimes:** UMM. Dad.

**Daryl Dixon** likes this

**Lori Grimes:** Rick why are you teaching Carl weird things

**Rick Grimes:** And stuff

**Shane Walsh:** Yea you can't forget that stuff

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey guys look I'm Shane! -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_-

**Rick Grimes, Lori Grimes, Andrea,** and **4** others like this

**Shane Walsh:** Daryl, all you do is make fun of me on Facebook

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea I know

**Carl Grimes:** What other faces can you make Daryl?

**Rick Grimes:** We really don't need to know

**Glenn:** Hey so Rick what are you going to do about Carol?

**Rick Grimes:** I'm not sure yet. Let me get back to you

**Daryl Dixon:** :) There ya go Carl. It's me.

**Carl Grimes** likes this

**Maggie Greene:** Do you guys want anything to eat? We have some food up in the house

**Shane Walsh:** I just don't feel like moving. Hey, can I use your shower?

**Beth Greene:** YES

**Daryl Dixon:** I KNOW SOMETHING AGAIN

**Rick Grimes:** Well, it's pretty obvious. But Shane's had enough for a while. He can take a bit of a break

**Glenn** likes this

**Carl Grimes:** Dad, are you talking about that adult topic?

**Lori Grimes:** Yes he is. Carl maybe you should log off

**Rick Grimes:** Nah. Lori it's about time he knows about everything

**Daryl Dixon:** Except the stuff I know. Because that is my own information base and no one else's.

**Shane Walsh, Rick Grimes,** and **3** others like this

**Merle Dixon:** Hey are ya'll going to be on here tonight?

**Daryl Dixon:** Most likely. What's the problem Merle?

**Merle Dixon:** Well my leader is dying to meet you guys (too bad he's not actually dying) but he can't get on (thankfully) until tonight. So if you could stay on…

**Rick Grimes:** Yea sure sounds good

**Merle Dixon:** This is going to be so horrible. Cheeser is going to be on later and me to

**Caesar Martinez:** Come on Man! I told you to stop with that nickname. Your brother is already giving me a hard time. I don't need you too

**Merle Dixon:** Whatever. Just be on here tonight

**Shane Walsh:** I'm sick -_-

**Merle Dixon:** Well you can type perfectly well. Be on here tonight. Even though I would really rather this not take place

**Caesar Martinez:** Just don't say anything about him right away. He'll get pissed

**Lori Grimes:** You here that Daryl?

**Daryl Dixon:** *looks up innocently* what do you mean? I won't do anything bad :)

**Shane Walsh:** DAT FACE. It means evil!

**Rick Grimes, Andrea,** and **2** others like this

**Rick Grimes:** Well we'll see you tonight Merle

**Merle Dixon:** Yea. Oh god, I'm face-palming already

**Hope you liked it. Poor Shane's all soaked in gasoline. Thanks for reading! Reviews would be greatly appreciated!**


	10. Ahoy Matey!

**Next chapter is here! So here comes something that I've been waiting to do but last week's episode just made it necessary. Have fun!**

**Ahoy Matey!**

**Rick Grimes:** I really don't want to stay up this late today. Merle when is this guy coming?

**Caesar Martinez:** He should be on any minute. He's slow

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey guys I raided the donut store.

**Maggie Greene:** Daryl! I told you not to go in the cabinets downstairs. Those are for emergencies only!

**Daryl Dixon:** Who has donuts in an emergency?

**Merle Dixon:** Twinkies though. Ya need those in an emergency

**Rick Grimes:** Hm. I think I would want to have a backup supply of cupcakes in an emergency

**Carl Grimes:** ICE CREAM!

**Lori Grimes: **Carl go to sleep

**Carl Grimes:** I want to meet this guy

**Caesar Martinez:** Trust me, you don't want to meet him

**Shane Walsh:** I need some sort of medication. Cause I'm gonna die

**Maggie Greene:** You've only thrown up once. You'll be fine

**Rick Grimes** and **Daryl Dixon** like this

**Merle Dixon:** Oh no here he comes

**Phil Blake:** Hello everyone

**Rick Grimes:** Um…..lol….hi

**Shane Walsh:** WOW. Nice Profile Pic

**Daryl Dixon:** Ahoy Matey! Everyone man the cannons!

**Merle Dixon:** Daryl! I told you not to comment

**Caesar Martinez:** Oh this is going bad

**Phil Blake:** I happen to be the leader of a very important town

**Daryl Dixon:** Yar! I bet ya are! Think ya could hook me up with a treasure map? I need some Twinkies for my crew

**Carl Grimes:** My dad's laughing again

**Lori Grimes:** Guys, we need to stop giving this man a hard time

**Glenn:** Hey my friend! Watch out for these ladies! They like to have 'fun'

**Caesar Martinez:** Guys, this is just supposed to be a friendly greeting meeting

**Merle Dixon:** A freakin what?

**Caesar Martinez:** A greeting meeting? I don't know

**Daryl Dixon:** Do ya got a peg leg? What about a parrot?

**Caesar Martinez:** Nah but he does keep heads in an aquarium

**Phil Blake:**MARTINEZ

**Caesar Martinez:** SORRY. EVERYONE IGNORE THAT

**Dale Horvath:** Looks like Martinez is about as good at keeping secrets as Glenn is

**Merle Dixon, Rick Grimes, Shane Walsh,** and **5** others like this

**Merle Dixon:** Look there's nothing to get upset about. It's just a weird faddish he's got

**Carl Grimes:** My mom told my dad to get out of the tent cause he's laughing so hard

**Daryl Dixon:** We better watch out though. If this guy gets angry, he'll sail over on his ship and try to board our home

**Rick Grimes:** So let me get this straight, you keep heads in an aquarium? For what purpose?

**Daryl Dixon:** What does it matter? He's a psycho!

**Caesar Martinez:** Ok look, he's not a psycho! He just has a problems.

**Phil Blake:** Thank you Martinez *sarcasm*

**Merle Dixon:** You're making it worse Martinez

**Caesar Martinez:** Ok. I'm sorry. He has heads in an aquarium from walkers and he has his zombified daughter locked up somewhere

**Rick Grimes:** WHAT?

**Merle Dixon:** Hey Shane, didn't you say you were looking for a face-palm button?

**Shane Walsh:** Yea why?

**Merle Dixon:** I need it really badly

**Daryl Dixon, Phil Blake,** and **3** others like this

**Daryl Dixon:** For once, I'm not causing the trouble

**Phil Blake:**Martinez, I'm firing you!

**Merle Dixon:** I'm so done with this meeting

**Carl Grimes:** So should we all be friends with this guy?

**Maggie Greene:** I'm thinking no

**Daryl Dixon, Glenn, Rick Grimes,** and **6** others like this

**Caesar Martinez:** I wouldn't

**Merle Dixon:** And I thought Rick and his group would screw this up

**Phil Blake:** I'm so done with Martinez

**Merle Dixon** likes this

**Lori Grimes:** Alright so now that this discussion is over can we please all go to sleep?

**Carl Grimes:** Mom ruins everything

**Glenn:** We're not done yet

**Daryl Dixon:** So, why exactly are we all up on here now? Why couldn't you come on earlier?

**Caesar Martinez:** Because…

**Merle Dixon:**Martinez, how about we don't um answer that

**Rick Grimes** likes this

**Phil Blake:** Well, a lot of the people (like Martinez) are idiots and they would totally abuse the power of WiFi

**Shane Walsh:** Oh well I guess that makes sense. So no one has cell phones there?

**Merle Dixon:** We're the only three. And hopefully no one will join us. Martinez, what if Allen or Ben came on here?

**Caesar Martinez:** 1, Allen scares the hell out of me. 2. Ben is just plain annoying

**Merle Dixon:** Yea. I mean I never want to go on a run with him because I feel like he'll screw me over

**Daryl Dixon:** Watch out for that kid! He's probably worse than Carl

**Lori Grimes:** Daryl!

**Shane Walsh:** Watch out Daryl! Lori has slapping issues

**Daryl Dixon, Andrea,** and **2** others like this

**Daryl Dixon:** Hey PB. What's the big beard for?

**Carl Grimes:** Who's peanut butter?

**Shane Walsh:** Carl you're so stupid

**Rick Grimes:**RUN SHANE LORI IS COMING

**Daryl Dixon:** Lori and her slapping issues are coming for you

**Rick Grimes:** YOU BOTH BETTER GET MOVING BECAUSE SHE IS MAD

**Caesar Martinez:** Man, I'm glad I'm not there.

**Merle Dixon** and **Phil Blake** like this

**Phil Blake:** And in answer to your question Mr. Dixon…..wait a second. Merle is that your brother?

**Merle Dixon:** Hm? No. Nope.

**Carl Grimes:** Wait, are we lying? Cause then I'm Shane's son

**Merle Dixon:** SHUT UP CARL

**Phil Blake:** Ah so he is your brother?

**Caesar Martinez:** Come on Merle, you lost it. You can't say anything to make it better

**Merle Dixon:** Guess you're right

**Daryl Dixon:** I'm alright! She didn't get me

**Shane Walsh:** Yea but you're currently up in a tree. Watch out for walkers!

**Daryl Dixon:** Walkers? What about flyers? Bird zombies? Nah.

**Phil Blake:** Well Merle, I don't think your brother has the same level of intelligence as you do

**Daryl Dixon:** UM EXCUSE ME? I BELIEVE I'M PRETTY DAMN SMART

**Rick Grimes, Carl Grimes, Maggie Greene,** and **5** others like this

**Rick Grimes:** Hey look Phil, you can come on here, but you're not allowed to insult Daryl or anyone else in our group since you don't know us!

**Daryl Dixon, Shane Walsh,** and **6** others like this

**Merle Dixon:** I totally agree.

**Caesar Martinez:** Hey anyone want to play baseball?

**Shane Walsh:** Sorry man, but its like 2am

**Lori Grimes:** AGAIN

**Daryl Dixon:** I need a new profile pic. But I have like none on my phone. Selfie time!

**Carl Grimes:** Oh Daryl! Can I be in your selfie?

**Daryl Dixon:** Um it's called a selfie for a reason. It's yourself. No one else.

**Shane Walsh:** You guys like mine?

**Rick Grimes:** It's a picture of you standing on the top of the RV with your shotgun. Well I see you like that a lot so sure

**Carl Grimes:** I like how my dad's is just him in his sheriff uniform. And then I'm over here in my black shirt and gold chains

**Rick Grimes:** You wish.

**Daryl Dixon:** How does this one look?

**Merle Dixon:** Hey I like it. Where are you?

**Dale Horvath:** He was snapping a million selfies up here a minute ago.

**Rick Grimes:** I like it Daryl. You have the moon in your hand

**Shane Walsh:** He really held his hand up to the moon?

**Daryl Dixon:** haha. Yea

**Phil Blake:** Anyone can do that

**Caesar Martinez:** Yea but it takes a lot of skill to look like a pirate

**Daryl Dixon:** Aarr! You are mighty correct there Captain 'Tinez

**Caesar Martinez:** Thank ya Captain Dixon.

**Rick Grimes:** I think we all need to calm down

**Merle Dixon:** Yea. Those two are completely out of control

**Phil Blake:** So they can insult me even though they don't know me but I can't insult you?

**Caesar Martinez:** I do know ya

**Daryl Dixon:** Raise the sails! Ahoy!

**Caesar Martinez:** Yar! We're setting sail! Let's go find that treasure

**Rick Grimes:** Ok I lied. This is good

**Shane Walsh:** It's like a movie.

**Carl Grimes:** Captain Dixon! Can I be on your expedition?

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea! Go swab the decks!

**Caesar Martinez:** And after that, my room needs some cleaning. And we need a meal fit for a king

**Phil Blake:** I'm not a pirate!

**Shane Walsh:** Sucks for you; you don't get to come on the expedition

**Rick Grimes, Daryl Dixon, Caesar Martinez,** and **4** others like this

**Maggie Greene:** Why is Daryl acting like a pirate?

**Caesar Martinez:** Cause we're on a journey!

**Daryl Dixon:** To find buried treasure in Phil's aquarium!

**Rick Grimes** and **Shane Walsh** like this

**Merle Dixon:** Hey Phil, are we having any arena fights soon?

**Caesar Martinez: **Yea cause I want to beat Merle's ass

**Daryl Dixon:** What's going on!?

**Phil Blake:** We have fighting matches at our town. It's entertainment

**Rick Grimes:** Ok. Like boxing? Or wrestling?

**Phil Blake:** Yea

**Caesar Martinez:** And then to make things even more entertaining. He puts walkers around the edges. I just want to say, I almost died

**Rick Grimes:** That's some sick entertainment

**Phil Blake:**Martinez, You are going to die if you don't stop sharing all these secrets

**Merle Dixon:** You know what's funny? Is seeing Phil's face after all of Martinez's comments

**Daryl Dixon** likes this

**Phil Blake:** Alright guys, I'm leaving you all. It's getting annoying. Governor out.

**Shane Walsh:** What

**Merle Dixon:** He's the leader of the town so he calls himself the Governor. It's a bit annoying.

**Caesar Martinez: **This is the only place we can call him Phil

**Daryl Dixon:** Captain Phil.

**Glenn:** Well that was interesting. I think we should stay away from him

**Rick Grimes:** Merle, Caesar, if you guys want to escape somehow, you guys are welcome here.

**Caesar Martinez:** We'll be ok. If things get bad we'll come out there. Just gotta show us the way

**Rick Grimes:** We'll help you somehow

**Daryl Dixon: **Yea Merle come here

**Shane Walsh:** New additions? Should be interesting. But have fun in that arena fight. Don't die

**Merle Dixon:** I won't. Neither will 'Tinez

**Daryl Dixon:** Yea you better not go die on me

**Maggie Greene:** Guys go to sleep! We have a big day. Daryl you're going farming with my dad

**Daryl Dixon:** EEWWW. No I'm going hunting

**Maggie Greene:** Uh no. You're going farming. We have plenty of food

**Daryl Dixon:** Nnnnnooooo. Someone help me?

**Shane Walsh:** Lol have fun Daryl.

**Hope you liked it guys! Thanks for reading! Reviews would be great! They'd be awesome!**


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